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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208417">The Orchards of Jessop</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaerie/pseuds/jaerie'>jaerie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Anal Sex, COVID-19, Cock Piercing, Emotional Sex, First Time Blow Jobs, First Times, Happy Ending, Harry is 20, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Louis is 40, M/M, Minor Off Screen Character Death Referenced, Neither H nor L cheat, Quarantine, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Self-Discovery, Sexuality Crisis, Straight Louis, Strangers to Lovers, but a third party cheating situation is referenced, is pretty much what this is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:55:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,078</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaerie/pseuds/jaerie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At age 40, there isn’t much excitement in widower Louis Tomlinson’s life, but wasn’t that the reason he’d moved to Jessop Island in the first place?  Back then he hadn’t thought retiring before he reached 30 and moving to the countryside would mean that he’d be doing it alone.  Now, just to fill the space, he welcomes lodgers into his home that pass through working as temporary labourers at the orchards just up the road.  They’ve all been young adults eager to start lives of their own after one last summer of freedom.  </p>
<p>All of them have been much the same, coming and going from Louis’ house with just enough social interaction to keep the house from feeling so empty.  But when a global pandemic shuts down the world, being quarantined with a quiet twenty year old who keeps to himself might turn out to be an awkward arrangement.  By the time the restrictions have been lifted, their relationship has developed into something Louis isn’t quite ready to give up.  With their twenty year age difference, Louis has to be prepared for the inevitable outcome when the reality shatters the private world they’ve been living in.  He’s not sure he’ll be able to let it go.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>547</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Orchards of Jessop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was inspired by <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/may/08/i-got-intimate-with-one-of-my-lodgers-and-now-im-in-turmoil?CMP=oth_b-aplnews_d-1">this article</a> that I saw and it was just begging for a fic to be written.  So welcome to my cheesy romance novel idea that isn't really a cheesy romance.  I didn't spend much time editing this at all so... sorry if there are mistakes.  Just roll with it.    </p>
<p>It is a quarantine fic but doesn't really deal with the pandemic except for it being the reason they're quarantined together, no explicit talk about sickness or anything.  </p>
<p>This takes place in a made up place that is a little like how you'd think of the English country side but isn't actually in the English countryside.  I just wanted to put that out there before you try to think too hard about fitting all the multi cultural references and descriptions together.  It never actually says where Jessop Island is, but that's also kind of the point.  It's a unique place for people who want to get away from the world.  </p>
<p>Also if you don't know what a lorum piercing is, I couldn't find a good example of what I describe here so my advice is don't just go googling for it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Louis had just pushed closed the little latch of his mailbox when he heard a noise and turned to see Harry, his new lodger, guiding his bike through the short gate at the end of the walkway.  Dressed as he usually was in the tightest dark jeans Louis had ever seen and a hooded sweatshirt, Louis wondered how he was able to move enough to get any work done down at the orchard.  His fancy but worn boots weren’t the type Louis wore while he got his own yard work done, but Louis had never seen him in anything else.  He wondered if Harry had even known what he was getting into when signing up to be a temporary labourer.  Maybe he should offer Harry a pair of his own the next time he was around for dinner.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gave a little nod when Harry glanced up, the ease of swinging his leg up and over to mount the bicycle made Louis’ back twinge with phantom pains.  He felt old as he stood there in his thick brown sweater and slacks, suddenly very conscious of his hair that was more salt than pepper every day.  His lodgers seemed to be getting younger and younger while he slowly turned into father time and it made him tired just to think about it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In truth, his lodgers were generally the same age.  The large orchard just down the road drew many young men to Jessop Island each year looking to make some money for a gap year or maybe for their first car.  The stories were all similar and they came and went in much the same way.  It was Louis that was changing.  He’d officially passed the age where he could be the young men’s fathers, a realization that had been shocking at the time.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d settled into it by now, giving them words of wisdom and advice that Louis knew was parroted bullshit most of the time, but it made him feel like a good influence.  Those first few years of renting out his basement bedroom had found him at the bottom of a shared bottle of liquor a few too many times to make him any sort of positive influence on their young minds.  Or course back then the age gap hadn’t been so gaping.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a small wave, Harry rode off down the narrow road while Louis stood and watched him go.  There wasn’t much he knew about Harry.  With a baby face and long hair pulled up into a bun, Harry had been fairly quiet but polite since he’d arrived just over two weeks before.  He was tidy, cleaning up after himself and keeping his spaces clean which was unusual for the young men that usually passed through.  While in the past Louis had cursed to himself as he scrubbed at nasty dishes left behind, he’d come into the kitchen more than once with his mug and cereal bowl from that morning washed and drying in the rack next to the sink.  He wished all his lodgers were so considerate.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Flipping through the stack of mostly junkmail in his hands, he found an envelope with Harry’s name on it in loopy script towards the bottom.  He stared at the letters penned in pink ink as he walked up the path and wondered if it might be from Harry’s girlfriend back home.  Louis hadn’t slipped quite far enough into the role of grumpy old man to be upset about the possibility, but he was on the edge of banning girlfriends from the house after walking into his kitchen one morning the year before to the sight of a naked young woman with nothing but the homemade afghan his great-grandma had crocheted for him wrapped around her body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis understood the struggle of getting laid while still living with parents.  He didn’t want to be a cock block, but he also didn’t want to know about it happening under his roof.  If he wasn’t having sex in his own house, then nobody else should be allowed to either.  It seemed like sound logic to him.  Maybe he should work that into his listing next season.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He left the letter on the small breakfast table by the kitchen window next to the little decorative bowl Louis usually kept the keys for his lodgers to use.  Louis didn’t leave the house much so it wasn’t often that anyone would be locked out, but he was still surprised to see the souvenir keychain from Disney World resting there on top of some spare change.  It was common for his lodgers to carry them around since they never knew when they might end up staying out late at one of the pubs in the village with all the colourful characters that regularly filled their seats.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessop Island was a unique mix of people and cultures, a collection of souls that went searching for something and wound up in the middle of nowhere.  Some chatter on with their entire life story if anyone gave them the chance and others were mysterious enough to pull anyone into their orbit.  It was why Louis had stayed even after he found himself alone.    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessop Island wasn’t even an island at all, but it might as well have been.  If you drove 30 miles in any direction, you’d find yourself back in the real world with its Walmarts and Starbucks and chain grocery stores.  Jessop was just different.  It was what set Jessop apart.  The village reminded Louis of England while the orchards reminded him of his trips through Italy.  The rolling fields of the countryside made him think of the rich farmlands of the U.S. and the houses reminded him of picturesque paintings like the kind compiled for calendars.  It was common for visitors to spend a lot of time soaking it up while they had the chance since Louis was convinced there was nowhere else in the world like it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So far, Harry had been different.  He worked long hours at the orchard and then spent a lot of his time sitting in Louis’ garden in the evenings.  The window of Louis’ study looked out to the swing surrounded by the flower beds which had only recently started to come back to life after winter.  He watched Harry write in the leather bound journal he carried around, tapping it absently against his lips in between his scribbles.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The past few evenings Louis had wondered if he should take him a mug of warm coffee or tea to ward off the chill of the approaching early spring night, but each time he talked himself out of it.  Harry had only come to him for a place to sleep at night, not for the experience of a quaint bed and breakfast.  Surely he didn’t want some old man invading his privacy with a gesture that probably seemed just as dated.  Young people probably preferred those fancy expensive coffees now anyway.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He made himself his own mug of coffee now -- black since he tried to stay away from dairy -- and headed out to the sun porch with his newspaper tucked underneath his arm.  Sure he could just open his laptop and look at the headlines, but there was just something about holding the paper that really made it feel like a morning routine.  Plus, this was the regional paper.  Local news was just more relevant to his immediate interests.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fast paced, anxiety inducing world was one of the reasons that him and Lucy had decided to move to Jessop in the first place.  Louis made his money young with the invention of a new pump design that even Disney used for their water rides now.  But with his millions came the gambling game of the stock market which kept him hyper focused on anything in the world that could affect them and, after a while, he’d just burned out.  He wasn’t cut out for that kind of lifestyle.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So while they took some time to travel after their wedding, they’d stumbled upon Jessop and it just felt like the right place.  They found a house within walking distance of town and the orchard and took a year to renovate and remodel.  Louis retired a handful of months before his thirtieth birthday and they moved into their perfect country home to start their family.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’d hardly had time to settle into their new life when the car crash took Lucy and Louis didn’t have it in him to leave.  The slow pace of life in Jessop had already done a world of good for him and it was the perfect place to hide away and grieve.  When he did start making his way back into life, going just as far as the village was all that he needed.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The same thing went for the paper.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But in the past few weeks, it seemed that the world was slowly catching up to them.  The articles had started small and now the headline took up the largest section on the front page.  People were getting sick and dying and no one knew how to stop it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As something happening so far away, Louis hadn’t paid much attention as schools were closed and entire countries went into lock down, but now it was here.  Cases had started to pop up in places too close for comfort and now the paper warned of closures and restrictions for their own community.  It seemed like an overreaction to Louis, but he still made a mental note to head into the village to stock up on food and essentials that afternoon.  Beyond that, a lockdown wouldn’t affect him much.  He barely left his property as it was.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wondered if Harry would stick around or head back home if that were to happen.  It made him a little sad to think of Harry leaving so early in the season.  Louis didn’t need the money from having a lodger, but there was always a different energy in the house when it wasn’t just himself.  Even if he only saw the person in passing, it was just nice to know he wasn’t alone.  He’d never pursued another relationship after Lucy, so it was also a way to fool himself into thinking he wasn’t going to spend the rest of his life alone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a lunch of a butter and ham sandwich, Louis made the walk into the village a day sooner than his usual grocery trip into town.  It was busy, Louis noted, and wondered if it was for the same reason that Louis was there.  The buzz of gossip soon confirmed his suspicions that everyone was, in fact, stocking up for what was to come.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I heard someone from the orchard has it,” Louis heard in a hushed tone as he turned down one of the aisles of the small store.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes and continued on his way.  He didn’t have the patience for it today.  If he was bored, Louis didn’t have a problem listening to and contributing to the day’s gossip.  Sometimes it was far too easy to rile up the retirees with nothing better to do with their time which is exactly the same boat Louis was in.  Usually.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Thursdays were Louis’ reading days and he had a new novel begging to have its spine broken in.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he hauled everything up the narrow road, he was surprised to see Harry’s bike leaning against the fence already.  So far it was usually at least around supper time when Harry usually arrived back at the house so it was abnormal to see him back when it was just midafternoon.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He walked around to the side entrance that opened into the kitchen and found Harry sitting on the step with his back against the door.  It was the one he used since it was directly next to the stairs into the basement which was where Harry was staying.  He thought it odd for a moment until he remembered the spare keys he’d seen resting in the bowl that morning.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, didn’t realize you’d be back so early,” Louis apologized as he set one of the large tote bags of groceries down on the grass to fumble with his keys.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, that’s okay.  Let me get that for you.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry rose up from his seat without the difficulties Louis sometimes had with his bum knee and took the rest of the bags from Louis’ arms before easily lifting the one from the ground as well.  Louis resisted the urge to mutter </span>
  <em>
    <span>show off</span>
  </em>
  <span> under his breath as he unlocked the door and pushed it open.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Home for a late lunch?” Louis asked as he led them inside, gesturing for Harry to set the bags down on the counter.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry looked troubled as he peered into the bags.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Someone on the crew tested positive so they were ordered to shut everything down for cleaning.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Someone you know?” Louis tried to mask his curiosity as he started to unload the cold and frozen items first.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t really know anyone yet,” Harry frowned.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned back against the counter and reached up to squeeze the messy bun he always had his hair up in.  Louis noticed for the first time the pink over his nose and across his cheeks of a sunburn, the colour cutting off where his sunglasses must sit.  He resisted the urge to make a comment. He didn’t want to reinforce the idea that he could be Harry’s dad.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rumour has it that it’s one of the groundsmen though,” Harry shrugged, “Don’t have much to do with them.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis nodded and gauged his risk.  He honestly wasn’t that worried about it.  He was still healthy and he’d survived the flu before.  It wouldn’t be the end of the world if he caught this too.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sticking around then or heading home?” Louis asked with his head in the fridge.  It would hide his disappointment if Harry had decided to leave for the season.  Louis’ wasn’t the greatest at social interactions anymore and he’d never had a good poker face.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They said they’ll probably just shut down for a couple days for cleaning.  Doesn’t really seem worth leaving for that.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just let me know,” Louis offered and was met with a small nod as Harry pushed off the counter and headed down the stairs.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis finished putting away the groceries that took up far more space than usual with the extra stock and went about his Thursday afternoon as normal.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Days passed where Louis hardly saw any trace of Harry.  He might have thought Harry had taken off if it weren’t for the freshly washed mug in the drying rack by the sink and the smell of lavender wafting up from the basement.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Louis caught Harry one afternoon when he was just about to slip outside.  “I’m going to try to make some homemade pizza tonight if you wanted to have some.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis wasn’t confident that it would turn out so it probably wasn’t a good idea to have an audience, but he couldn’t stop himself from doing it.  He was used to his lodgers being around for at least breakfast and he found himself craving the company more than he wanted to admit.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, yeah, sure,” Harry nodded with a small smile before ducking out with a baseball cap backwards on his head and a thin tshirt that was anything but season appropriate with the days still cool.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis looked down after he was gone and wondered when exactly he had started dressing like a grandpa with his sweaters.  He was hardly past forty, not seventy.  He rolled his eyes when he caught sight of the worn house slippers he had on his feet.  He really had turned into a grandpa.  What was he supposed to do with cold feet?  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was one of those times where Louis wished he hadn’t proven himself right later that evening.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The trick was to bake the crust first.  That’s what he’d thought when he put the pan in the oven.  Now with the fire alarms blaring and smoke seeping out around the door, he wasn’t sure that had been the right move.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled the pan out of the cloud while cursing, the metal clattering as he dropped it on the stove with the charred remains of his beautiful crust displaying his failure.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the sound of footsteps pounding up the stairs, Louis turned and almost forgot to continue fanning the smoke when Harry appeared around the corner in nothing but a pair of loose athletic shorts.  Harry had tattoos.  More accurately, Harry was </span>
  <em>
    <span>covered</span>
  </em>
  <span> in tattoos.  From his hips to his chest and then down his arm, Louis wasn’t sure how he hadn’t taken note of it before.  Of course he hadn’t seen Harry shirtless, but his arms had certainly been exposed.  Louis had a few tattoos himself but nowhere near the amount of ink this kid had on his skin.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry didn’t seem to notice how he gaped at the shapes and designs and quickly turned to pull open the door and slide the closest window pane up to air out the kitchen.  Then, once he was sure that there weren’t any actual flames, he erupted into the high pitched cackle that both startled Louis and made him want to join in.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In his stubbornness though, Louis forced his best scowl and placed his balled up fists on his hips.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Looks delicious,” Harry said through his laughter as he wiped tears from the corner of his eyes.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis wasn’t exactly happy about being made fun of, but it was the most emotion Harry had shown of any kind since he’d arrived, so Louis didn’t have the heart to shut it down.  Harry always seemed so serious and in his head.  It was nice to see that he could let it loose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah,” he rolled his eyes and turned to snatch the package from the dough mix to see where he’d gone wrong.  He squinted at the directions and then finally gave in and pulled out his readers.  It was a new development he’d been denying for a while until he’d finally broken down a few months ago and purchased the specs.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He huffed when he realized that baking just the thin crust on its own for 40 minutes didn’t really sound right.  He never claimed to be a good cook.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Looks like frozen pizza it is,” Louis turned to start digging for the frozen pizza he knew he recently bought.  So much for luring his lodger into keeping him company with impressive meals.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds just as good,” Harry said and it sounded genuine.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis turned to see Harry stretching to reach the smoke detector high on the wall and he paused again to appreciate the length of Harry’s tattooed body.  Louis had always been short and stocky, even as a teenager.  He couldn’t care less about it at his age, but his height had been a sore spot growing up.  Harry would have towered over him if they’d met when they were both twenty.  A late growth spurt had given Louis a couple extra inches since then, but he was still average.  He imagined Harry wouldn’t have much of a problem at the orchard when it came time to start picking.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry disappeared back downstairs while the premade pizza cooked, the lingering smell of burnt crust lingering for the rest of the night.  He returned when it was ready and they ate in companionable silence minus the small talk about the weather and the closure of the orchard.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they were finished, Harry offered to clean up shooed Louis off into the den.  It wasn’t like the time he’d shared with other lodgers who were generally young and outgoing and loved an opportunity to talk about themselves.  Nobody wanted to hear about Louis’ tragic life and he preferred to not talk about it as well.  It didn’t work when Harry also seemed to be avoiding something.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though it had been a quiet meal, at least it hadn’t felt awkward.  He hoped that it was nice enough that Harry might join him again even if his meals weren’t always that great.  He could make pasta and several chicken dishes just fine.  He also wasn’t half bad at grilling either.  Maybe he could pick up some steaks or something next time he went into the village.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So far Harry had taken care of his own meals with not much evidence other than the loaf of sourdough bread in the bread box and a few items on his shelf of the fridge.  Most of the young men that stayed with him were on a budget and never minded eating his food when Louis offered and he hoped it would be the same.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next morning Louis was surprised when he looked up to Harry taking a seat next to him with his own mug.  It was the tan mug with black footprints that appeared when there was hot liquid inside and disappeared when there was not.  One of his past lodgers had left it behind and he was pretty sure it had something to do with some movie.  He couldn’t really remember.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lowered his paper and looked over his readers at Harry with a welcoming smile.  “Good morning.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning,” Harry greeted and started to fidget in his seat with both hands wrapped around the mug.  He looked nervous.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s up?” Louis asked and then internally cringed and hoped he didn’t sound like an older teacher trying to fit in with his students.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’ve closed the orchard down for the next six weeks,” Harry said while he looked down into his mug.  The bun on his head was messy with curly flyaways sticking up across his forehead.  He looked like he’d just rolled out of bed.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis folded his paper and pulled his glasses off to give Harry his full attention.  He couldn’t help the dip of disappointment he felt with the news.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Headed home then?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s the problem,” Harry replied with little creases of worry forming between his brows. “I went to book my ticket and the last flights out were last night. I guess I wasn’t watching the news very closely.  They’ve ordered all transportation closed for the next month.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?  I guess I missed that memo as well.  Unless I just haven’t gone far enough in the paper yet.  So you’re staying on?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry leaned back and started to fish around in his pocket and pulled out a small wad of cash.  He tossed it onto the table and then finally met Louis’ eyes.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Without working, this is all I have,” he said timidly, “It won’t cover much, but would you mind if I stayed on while I figure out what to do?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis leaned forward and pushed the cash back towards Harry.  “I don’t do this because I need the money, Harry.  You can stay as long as you need to.  If it’s as bad as they’re saying it is, it’s probably better if you stay put anyway.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry seemed relieved, the tension in his shoulders easing just a bit.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t be any trouble.  I’ll stay out of your way and everything,” Harry assured him quickly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis waved him off.  “You’re not a bother.  I don’t mind having someone else around.  You’re welcome to hang out up here if you’d like.  I don’t want to feel like I’m keeping you in a dungeon.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.  I really appreciate this.  It wasn’t my plan to skip out on rent.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nothing you can control.  It’s fine,” Louis smiled and watched Harry look out across the garden for a moment before picking up his paper once again.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next week brought heavy rain that really did keep the pair confined to the house.  Harry had shared a few meals with him but still mostly kept to himself.  At least Louis could feel his energy within the walls now that there were traces of him here and there.  A jacket hanging on the hook, a strange green drink in the fridge, a snapback on the table next to his keys.  It was nice.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With the rain also came the downfall of what was supposed to be modern technology.  The satellite tv started to skip and pixelate with a drizzle and the screen when black with no signal when it really started to pour.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis was just about to call it a night when he heard Harry bound up the stairs and lean into the den.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tv out?” he asked, the obvious message still bouncing around on the screen. He sighed and leaned against the arched doorway.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We could get out a puzzle or something?” Louis suggested, turning in his chair to see him better.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry raised a judgmental brow.  “A puzzle?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, a jigsaw puzzle.  That’s what they keep saying everyone is doing during quarantine on the news.  Jigsaw puzzles and baking banana bread.  And since I don’t know how to make banana bread…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And jigsaw puzzles are something you just happened to have around?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” Louis said with a small laugh.  He got up from his chair and walked over to the large cupboards built in around the entertainment system.  There was a collection of boxes still in their shrink wrapped packing with block numbers on the side indicating the number of pieces, placed there and forgotten after each had been received as a gift at one time or another.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled out one with a painting on the front, turning it towards Harry.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This one is of the orchards.  Some famous painter did it at some point and I think my mom got it for us when we moved here.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry seemed to hesitate for a moment and then shrugged.  It wasn’t like there were many excuses to walk away, but Louis still hoped he didn’t feel obligated to the suggestion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Louis said as he made his way towards the dining room table.  “I could open a bottle of wine or something.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wine would be nice.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis knew he was technically underage but figured it didn’t matter.  He wasn’t going anywhere and it was just a glass of wine.  It wasn’t like downing a whole bottle’s worth of shots.  He set the box on the table and retreated to the kitchen for some wine glasses.  There was a fancy wine cellar that Lucy had insisted they put in and Louis picked one out of the collection that he thought would be the sweetest.  He popped the cork and bought the whole bottle out to the table where Harry was already dumping the pieces onto the table.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After pouring the first glass, he handed it over and then poured one for himself.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess we start pulling out all the edge pieces first?” Louis suggested after his first sip.  It wasn’t the best wine he’d ever had, but he didn’t pretend to know much about wine in general. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you want to play it safe,” Harry shrugged with a small smile.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis laughed and started to sift through for the edge pieces anyway.  He had a small section of the border done on his own when he realized that it might be weird to Harry that they were just working on the puzzle in silence.  So he opened his mouth.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you disappointed you aren’t able to go home?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The answer was quick and sure, something Harry obviously didn’t have to ponder.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Happy to get away for awhile?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess you could say that,” Harry said with the half hearted shrug of a shoulder.  The motion made Louis realized they’d both moved their chairs closer to get a better look at their work, their bodies nearly touching.  “I came here to save up some money so I could move away.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis just nodded and let the knowledge stew for a while.  He sipped at his wine and then poured himself another glass.  He offered the bottle to Harry.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just ready to leave the nest?” Louis couldn’t help but ask curiously.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry took his time pouring his glass, setting the bottle down and taking a swig of it before he answered.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Small town stuff,” he said vaguely, “I just want a fresh start.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis could relate to that.  That’s how he’d ended up in Jessop in the first place.  It was how many of them ended up in Jessop.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over the next few rainy evenings, Harry slowly started to warm up to Louis as they worked on the puzzle with bottles of wine.  They grew more comfortable with each other, working together and passing pieces back and forth while they made progress on the massive project.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The 1000 piece puzzle was difficult since a good portion of the painting was leaves or grass.  It wasn’t as easy as just matching colours when so many of the pieces looked exactly the same.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry suddenly sat back one evening after they’d been working at it for an hour.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need a break.  I’m going cross eyed staring at this thing.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis laughed and emptied the rest of the wine bottle into Harry’s glass.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s fine.  Go make yourself comfortable and I’ll grab another bottle.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were working their way through Louis’ collection, but he didn’t care.  What was the point of wine if no one was around to drink it?  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of the rain was soothing against the glass as they both relaxed in the dim light of the den.  Louis turned on the gas fireplace and smiled at how cozy it felt to enjoy it with someone else for once.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who is in the photo?” Harry gestured with his glass to the frame sitting on one of the shelves.  It was the picture Lucy had framed of them in front of the house when they’d first bought it.  Louis didn’t have the heart to take it down.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My wife.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry looked surprised as he looked over and Louis answered his question before he had to ask it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She died about ten years ago.  Car crash.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis waited for the same thing he always heard and then it came.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Harry frowned.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis shrugged.  He never understood why that was the response to a death.  It wasn’t their fault.  It was just something that happened.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a long time ago.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have your kids already moved out?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis wanted to laugh but was also slightly offended.  Did he really look that old?  Even if he could technically be Harry’s father, that didn’t mean he had kids Harry’s age or older as he implied.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not that old,” Louis scoffed, choosing to laugh.  “No kids.  We moved out here to start a family but life had another plan.”   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry nodded and they both sat there thinking about the twists and turns of life.  The little worry lines were visible between Harry’s brows again and Louis wanted to smooth them out with his thumb.  Harry was too young to have the weight of the world on his shoulders.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the risk of setting up some cliched scene of some sappy movie, Louis asked, “Why do you need a fresh start, Harry?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry frowned but only as he appeared to ponder how much to say.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In a small town where gossip is gospel, innocent until proven guilty isn’t a thing.  People judge you for what people say about you whether it’s true or not.  You don’t get a chance to defend yourself, and even if they pretend to believe you to your face, you can tell that it’s an act by the way they look at you.  I couldn’t handle it anymore.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis knew how it was.  People in Jessop were always gossiping and into everyone’s business.  They weren’t bad people, though.  Gossip here was just like being in a large family.  They didn’t use it against anyone.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis waited to see if Harry would offer up more than his vague explanation while he stared across the room with distant eyes.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry shifted his eyes to focus on Louis, intense gaze analyzing Louis, probably deciding what Louis’ reaction might be.  He then looked down at his wine as he swirled it in his glass.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My best friend got his girlfriend pregnant while we were still in high school.  They got married right after he turned eighteen and played house for a while with their daughter.”  Harry took in a long breath and then slowly let it out.  “Maybe a year after that someone saw him leaving a gay bar a few towns over and told his wife.  She went through his car and found a bunch of condoms and stuff and accused him of cheating on her.  He admitted that he was cheating with her because he thought he might be gay.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis watched Harry drain the rest of the wine in his glass before he grabbed the bottle to fill it again.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She automatically assumed he was cheating with me.  He didn’t correct her so all of her anger was directed at me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would she assume it was you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was the only gay person she knew and he had been telling her he was with me while he was sneaking off to hook up with people.  I think he thought he’d have a better chance of seeing his daughter if it was me and not a bunch of random people.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry paused to suck down half of the wine he’d just poured, chancing a hesitant glance up at Louis.  He was a little surprised to hear that Harry was gay, but that wasn’t the worst part of the story.  He could only imagine what kind of asshole would throw his friend under the bus like that.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And everyone just believed her?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watched the decision to tell Louis play over his face, looking small and defeated with his wine glass cradled in both hands.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A couple years before that when I was sixteen, a guy in my class was over to work on a school project at my house while my parents were out.  It doesn’t really matter how it happened.  I was naive and stupid.  We fooled around only for him to tell everyone what happened the next day.  I guess there was some bet to prove I was gay.  I didn’t even really know I was yet.  So it was pretty easy to convince everyone that I was a homewrecker since they already thought I was some gay sex pervert.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But everyone messes around at some point,” Louis frowned.  He didn’t think that being gay was such an issue anymore.  Compared to when he was young, being gay seemed pretty normal.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure, but they don’t go around telling everyone the gay kid forced them to do it.  I couldn’t even walk down the street without old ladies projecting their disapproval.  People had started to forget about the stuff from high school before all of this drama happened.  I lost my apprenticeship at the tattoo parlor I was working at because his wife convinced him I was a cheater and a bad influence.  My whole life fell apart and I couldn’t deal with what everyone thought of me anymore.  I couldn’t get away from it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis took a slow sip of his wine while Harry downed another glass.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re an artist?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry shrugged.  “I was trying to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis didn’t think there was any trying when it came to tattoos.  Permanent body art wasn’t a mediocre talent.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you design the tattoos you have?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry was tipsy now.  Louis could tell by his loose tongue and lazy movements.  He looked down at his covered stomach and then pulled up his shirt like he was only just discovering that his skin was covered in black ink.  Louis went to take a sip from his own wine glass and realized he had emptied it during Harry’s story and went for more.  He planted himself on the sofa closest to the bottle and refilled.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did some of them,” Harry said while he dragged a finger along the edge of the giant butterfly on his stomach.  He pushed himself up and pulled his tshirt off over his head to uncover the hidden pictures.  He slouched as he sat down next to Louis and walked his fingers from design to design like he was remembering each experience.  “I got a bunch of stupid ones when I was young and got some of them covered up.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis snorted.  “You’re still young.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> young.  You’re not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> old.” Harry frowned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Old enough to be your father,” quipped Louis.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned to find Harry staring at him with half lidded eyes and red wine stained lips.  The sight caught him off guard and made him feel uncomfortable but not in the way that he wanted Harry to leave.  He didn’t feel like himself in his own body for a moment and he wasn’t sure what to do with that.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you drunk?” he asked Harry, his voice gone soft.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, but I feel good.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry sat up, so close now that Louis could see the intricate details of his work, the older ones starting to bleed just a bit from what he assumed had once been crisp, clean lines.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He studied Louis for another long moment that made him feel vulnerable and exposed.  Even though it did, something kept him from looking away.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s next words were so delicate, so gentle.  They were the kind that could break you open with every intention to put you back together.  “Louis, why are you alone?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The question was big and yet Louis’ answer wasn’t.  He didn’t spend a lot of time dwelling on the reasons even when he was lonely.  He enjoyed the time he spent with his lodgers and knew there would be another when the house felt empty.  It was what it was.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never tried to find anyone else,” he answered simply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Never?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis shook his head.  Harry’s eyes were wide and searching, something sad behind them but it wasn’t pity.  He was so close now -- their thighs were touching -- and all Louis could inappropriately think about was the fact that “never” trying to find someone else implied that he hadn’t had sex in that long either.  He hadn’t, but that wasn’t the point.  That wasn’t even why Harry had asked.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really want to kiss you,” Harry said and it short circuited his thoughts.  His eyes dropped to Harry’s bowed upper lip and plush bottom one automatically.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did he mean saying he wanted to kiss Louis?  They were talking about tattoos and Harry’s tragic backstory.  The request felt like it came out of left field.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it was a heady rush to think about those stained lips moving against his own.  Obviously Louis was drunk and had imagined himself into a scene of some rom com where two broken and lonely people fall into each other and live happily ever after.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then Harry’s lips were on his and it felt too real to be wishful thinking.  They were soft and warm and wet and Harry’s thumb was moving over his short beard where his hand had come up to cup his jaw.  Louis was kissing back before he had any time to think about anything.  He didn’t think about Harry being a man, didn’t think about Harry being half his age, and he definitely didn’t think about the last kiss he’d shared being one with his wife. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It just felt so good.  It satisfied an intimacy he’d forgotten to miss and stoked the flames to make him crave more.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His wine glass thunked to the floor and he hoped it had been empty as their kiss grew more heated and Harry climbed his way onto Louis’ lap.  He straddled Louis’ waist and used both hands to cradle his jaw, tipping his face up as Harry loomed above him.  Louis’ hands moved to steady Harry in place and was reminded that Harry was shirtless when he met warm skin that felt sturdy yet soft under his fingers.  It made him think of the way Harry had stretched to reach the smoke alarm all those days ago, remembering the way his muscles had twisted and flexed.  He’d admired it at the time but not quite the same way he was now.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It also made him very conscious of his own untoned stomach that got a little softer with every passing year.  The way his naked body would look to someone else hadn’t even occurred to him in over a decade and now Harry’s hand was snaking up underneath his sweater with no chance to prepare.  But then Harry had started this so he could deal with whatever he got. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, Louis, I’ve been wanting to do this since I got here,” Harry mumbled against his lips just before they parted long enough to pull Louis’ bunched up sweater over his head.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis wasn’t sure he believed him.  Twenty somethings weren’t usually in the market for salt and pepper widowers, but it was enough that Harry was in his lap right now.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt Harry’s fingers trail through his thin chest hair and then down over his body while still hungrily attacking his lips with bruising enthusiasm.  Louis squeezed where he was holding Harry’s hips and realized that it wasn’t tight skinny jeans beneath his palms that he was used to Harry wearing.  It was still snug around his body but with elastic stretch rather than restricting fabric.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aside from the fact that he was out of practice, Louis wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with his hands when he wasn’t familiar with touching other body parts.  He was comfortable with his own, but had never touched another dick in his life.  He’d never had the urge to.  If he had, he figured it would have happened long before his forties and yet here he was.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slid his hands down to rest on the tops of Harry’s thighs, stroking with his thumbs as he debated whether he was supposed to just go for it.  He thought he had an idea of what he would want and then second guessed himself while Harry’s tongue sought out his own.  Maybe there was a different way things happened when it came to gay sex, a gay sex ettiquitte he wasn’t familiar with.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily Harry saved him from further thought as he slithered down Louis’ body to sink to his knees on the floor between Louis’.  He grinned up as his fingers worked against the button and zip of Louis’ jeans and his heart sped up.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s lips were puffy and his pupils were blown and Louis had never seen anything more sinful in his life.  He was even momentarily too distracted to realize how hard he was just from kissing.  He wasn’t dysfunctional by any means, yet acknowledged that it took a little more oomph to get himself going the older he got.  Harry, however, had him rock solid without any effort and had him standing proud immediately after fishing him out of his jeans.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was impressive and felt oh so good.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over ten years since another hand had touched his cock and the first time the hand was attached to a man.  There was a lot to unpack there, but he didn’t want to waste his time on it in the moment.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few teasing strokes, Harry made eye contact with him as he leaned forward and opened his mouth.  A deep groan pushed its way out as he watched Harry’s mouth slide down over his cock.  He was only a little embarrassed about the unruly nest of pubic hair around the base when Harry’s nose pressed into it.   Seeing the greys that had popped up in it was probably worse than his lack of grooming when he thought about it.  He didn’t need another reminder of his age next to Harry’s youth.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then again, they weren’t doing anything wrong and Harry made such a pretty picture sucking him down.  He slid his fingers into Harry’s hair that was up in a bun and then had the urge to let it lose.  He tugged on the elastic hair tie until it came free, a cascade of beautiful dark, shiny curls falling down around his face.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The awe on his face was probably comical as he realized he’d never seen Harry with his hair down at any point since he’d arrived.  It was longer than Louis expected, flowing past his shoulders like a gorgeous waterfall Louis couldn’t stop himself from touching.  It messed with his mind that a man could be so stunning, that he couldn’t look away from every feature of his face that blurred the lines between masculine and feminine.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jesus Christ</span>
  </em>
  <span> did his mouth feel good.  It was a feast after a diet of crackers and water.  If he had to trace his steps from how they went from innocent jigsaw puzzle to this, Louis wouldn’t be able to do it, but he wouldn’t change anything either.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sight and even just the </span>
  <em>
    <span>sounds</span>
  </em>
  <span> did Louis in.  He’d never had such an enthusiastic blow job in his life.  He’d never been with someone so eager to do it.  It was bringing him to the edge so quick.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gripped a handful of Harry’s hair as he noticed the way Harry’s shoulder was moving.  With a bump to his leg, Louis realized Harry was jerking himself off just out of sight.  It was that, of all things, that made Louis truly acknowledge the fact that Harry also had a penis.  He had one and was currently getting off on what his mouth was doing to Louis’.  It made him feel hot all over.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was one thing to know and another one to actually see – which he really wanted to do.  He wanted to see what Harry looked like naked, wanted to see if Harry’s dick matched the long and lean lines of his muscular body or if it was bold and thick.  They were things he’d never thought about before that moment and yet needed immediate confirmation.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled on his fistful of hair just enough to get Harry’s attention, his eyes turning up to Louis’ to gaze at him from under his long, curved lashes.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to see you,” Louis mumbled with another gentle tug.  Harry came off with a slightly confused expression.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to see you,” he repeated with a pointed glance down Harry’s body. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry kept a hand on Louis’ thigh as he scooted back on his knees just far enough for Louis to finally get a look.  His dick was hard where it was pulled out over the top of whatever kind of legging pants he was wearing.  All Louis could do was stare.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The truth was when it came to appreciating bodies and skin, Louis could honestly say he didn’t think about it much.  When he saw a sex scene in a movie, it didn’t really faze him.  He wasn’t into porn or looking at pictures of scantily clad celebrities at the beach.  Those thoughts rarely even crossed his mind seeing someone attractive in person.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s why it felt so significant to follow the lines of Harry’s sculpted torso down to the laurels that lead to the main event.  Every part of him fit together so perfectly and Louis could admire him for ages.  His body should be photographed and painted and hung as one of nature’s works of art.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s dick was probably around average in size but it was all about presentation.  It stood from his body with an elegant curve, the colour of the tip a perfect match to the rosy pink shade of his lips.  Louis had always been of the opinion that penises were fairly ugly when it came to body parts, but that was before he had seen the one in front of him now.  It was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretty</span>
  </em>
  <span> in a way a penis shouldn’t be.  It deserved delicate kisses and loving caresses while its owner writhed beneath him.  Louis had never been so attracted to somebody.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watched a light blush rise to the surface of Harry’s skin as he rested a hand low on his stomach.  The look on his face was bashful, but Louis could tell that he loved the attention.  He took his dick in his hand and stroked it slowly and watched Louis as Louis watched him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis wanted to come all over him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took his own dick into his hand and immediately fell into the pace he’d used to efficiently get himself off for years.  His eyes roamed Harry’s body from his delicious lips down to the ink on his hips.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was already getting himself close when he felt fingers loosely circle his wrist to halt his movements.  Confused, he looked down at Harry who set a much slower and sensual motion.  It did feel nice to enjoy how it felt now that he had a reason to drag it out.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt even better when Harry leaned forward and sucked on the head of his cock like a lollipop, tongue swirling while Louis struggled to hold back.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the end, it was Harry’s bedroom eyes and the tickle of his long curls against Louis’ thighs that set him off.  Harry stayed put to swallow everything he had to give, only pulling off to release a whimper as he came himself.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis was a little disappointed that he didn’t have the chance to touch, but at least he’d been allowed to look.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry wiped his mouth and then his hand and stomach off with his tshirt like it was something he’d done a thousand times.  Maybe he had.  Everyone seemed to be more open about sex now.  It probably wasn’t necessary to hide it in socks and balled up tissues as he’d had growing up.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry crawled up on the sofa with a lazy smile and it was Louis’ turn to blush.  He tucked himself back in and set about cleaning up the wine he’d let spill on the floor.  Thankfully it hadn’t fallen on anything that could stain.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he came back from putting some things away in the kitchen, Harry had fallen asleep curled up on his side with his head resting on one of the balled up throw blankets.  He smiled fondly at him but stopped himself from lingering.  He didn’t want to be creepy.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He fetched another blanket to drape over his body since his upper half was still unclothed and switched off the dim light.  The fireplace was set on a timer so he left it be, turning to look at Harry one last time before heading back to his own bed for the night.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Louis awoke in the morning, there was an extra spring in his step and a buzz of energy that was usually absent as he dragged himself out of bed.  He’d convinced himself he’d just had a really good dream by the time he’d brushed his teeth and dressed uncharacteristically in just some loose sweatpants, a plain white tshirt and his housecoat.  He didn’t feel like getting dressed for the day quite yet.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He retrieved the paper from the box while his coffee brewed and left the carafe on the warmer as he took his mug and plate of toast and jelly out to the sun porch.  He caught a glimpse of a body still curled up on the couch and pressed his lips together to suppress the grin that bloomed up from deep within.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It hadn’t been a dream.  He’d known that.  Dreams didn’t make him feel years younger or make his soul feel lighter.  No, that had been the power of an orgasm at the hands – mouth – of another person and the fluttering feeling of something new.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opened the paper in front of him but his mind didn’t absorb any of the words his eyes ran across.  He was too busy being stuck in the lingering euphoria and excitement.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was probably about the time he should have been having an existential crisis.  He wasn’t gay.  He’d never considered himself gay.  It had never even occurred to him to be gay.  At forty years old, he figured he would have had some indication, some inkling, that he was gay.  He never had.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of that should have bothered him.  He should have been questioning his whole adult life up to that point, and yet, he wasn’t.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, every thought rerouted back Harry.  The smooth panes of his body, the colour of his cheeks, the curve of his eyelashes.  He vividly remembered the flickering shadows across his skin from the fireplace and the dim light that was still bright enough to see the dark ink that littered his skin.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then, he kept thinking about Harry’s cock.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He so badly wanted to touch it, to see if it was just as velvety as the rest of his skin.  He wanted to know what kinds of noises Harry would make when his hands were on it, if he would be as responsive as he seemed he would be.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So far he had the impression that Harry was a very sensual person.  It made him want to spend hours trailing his fingers over every inch of his body just for the experience.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was in the middle of imagining what Harry would smell like when the door startled him and Harry appeared with his own mug of coffee.  He’d covered himself with a fresh tshirt, but he still looked sleep rumbled and tired.  There were pillow lines still visible on his cheeks and his eyes were just a bit puffy.  He’d left his hair down, though, which made something stir deep in Louis’ stomach.  He should always wear it down, Louis decided.  The loose curls suited him and reminded Louis of how it had tickled his thighs.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning,” Louis nodded and continued to pretend to read the paper.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry made a tired little noise in response and they sat in silence as he sipped his coffee and stared out across the garden.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So they weren’t going to talk about it.  That was fine.  A lot of wine had been involved, and if it had only happened because of that, Louis could be okay with only the one experience.  He wasn’t young and attractive like Harry was and didn’t want to appear like some creepy older man.  He could live with just being Harry’s quarantine story when he looked back on it later in life.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the seed had been planted and maybe Louis </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> turning into a creepy older man.  The more he observed Harry from the corner of his eye, the more attractive he found him.  He was half hard just looking at him by the time he finished pretending to read the paper.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was not an ideal situation to be in if they were going to be quarantined alone in his house together for an indefinite amount of time.  He was just going to have to turn it off and get over it.  He’d allow himself one drawn out fantasy in the shower and then he’d shake it off so he didn’t make Harry uncomfortable.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He got up from the table to do just that, offering Harry a soft smile before turning back towards the kitchen.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His thoughts had already started to wander as he stood at the sink rinsing out his mug.  Thoughts of Harry on his knees looking up at him and the way his lips wrapped around his cock.  He thought about touching Harry too.  He imagined how big it would feel in his hands, big enough to make a nice fist full if he squeezed.  He reached down to give himself a little squeeze as he thought about it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d spaced off so much that he started when he was suddenly crowded up against the edge of the sink, Harry’s hands placed on the edge on either side of him to box him in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re such a morning person,” Harry mumbled against the exposed skin at the juncture of his neck and shoulder.  It made a shiver run down his arms strong enough to raise goosebumps.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not,” Louis disagreed.  He really wasn’t.  His internal clock had just grown stronger over the years until it was physically impossible for him to sleep in.  He hated it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Always drinking coffee and reading the paper like they do in tv shows.  Nobody really gets up early enough to have time for that.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis grinned.  He was very much a creature of habit.  He just had nothing else to do.  Apart from occasionally consulting on maintenance and repair plans, he really didn’t have anything else to make time for.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do,” he mumbled, relaxing back into Harry’s warmth as he started to mouth lazy kisses up his neck.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shit.  He was being so spoiled with touch and it was addicting.  He gripped the edge of the sink to keep himself from melting to the floor from how it made him feel like mush.  Harry shuffled in closer and he was definitely hard where he pressed himself against Louis’ ass.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Want you to fuck me,” Harry mumbled as mouthed at Louis’ earlobe, the flick of his tongue against it going straight to his cock.  Everything about Harry was something he’d never encountered anywhere else.  Maybe it was just the passing of time, but he couldn’t remember sex every feeling quite so intimate.    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis could only nod and swallow back a moan as another string of new images flashed through his head.  He hadn’t even thought about fuckin him yet though he wasn’t exactly sure how that worked.  Theoretically he knew, but he’d never had anal sex before.  He was supposed to be the older and wiser one yet he was nervous about doing it wrong.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right now?” he slurred out with his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of Harry’s lips way too much.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve got lube if you’ve got condoms,” Harry mumbled where he was nosing near Louis’ ear.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do I look like the kind of guy who has condoms around the house?” Louis asked with a small huff of a laugh.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I figured it’s hard for anyone to say no to you,” Harry whispered and it made Louis’ chest puff out just a little to feel so desired.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never ask.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m clean.  It’s been a long time.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s seductive whisper made Louis feel like a teenager about to lose his virginity.  In many ways, he was.  So many new experiences with Harry behind every one of them.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He might have been embarrassed to admit it in another setting, but the tone of Harry’s question implied that it turned him on to know just how long it had been since he’d last had sex.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, his answer was soft when it came out.  Like a secret.  “A decade.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re lying.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis shook his head as Harry nipped at his neck with his teeth.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go to the bedroom,” Louis suggested, not wanting to rely on his body to hold himself up anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry sucked at a spot just below his ear and Louis gave into the moan he’d been holding back.  Harry was sweet and sinful and it didn’t take much for Louis to want to give him everything.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry took his hand and led him back to Louis’ bedroom even though he’d never been in it before.  He was glad he’d picked his laundry up off the floor that morning so it wasn’t too embarrassing for Harry to see.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis didn’t need to worry about Harry looking when his eyes bore into Louis’ as he shed his clothes, tossing something onto the bed from his pocket.  He tried but failed to keep his eyes on Harry’s face, too tempted to see the body he’d been daydreaming about.  Harry let him look his arms held away from his body just enough to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>here I am</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis shrugged off his robe and pulled off his shirt, but left his sweatpants for now.  He took a step closer and lifted his hand to trail his fingers down Harry’s chest until they were resting over the butterfly.  It was absurd yet looked so perfect on his stomach.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They slid farther down until they were brushing over his happy trail and down to the neatly trimmed hair around the base of his dick.  Louis hardly remembered what it was like to make an effort to keep up on his grooming.  It was hard enough for him to remember to drag himself in for haircuts, let alone everything else.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis liked it, though.  It made Harry’s dick look longer and prettier in a way dicks weren’t supposed to be.  He wrapped his hand around it for the first time with a little flutter in his chest like he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do.  It felt naughty but mostly exciting.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked down at it in his hand and then across to where he was pitching a tent in his pants.  There was no work involved getting hard for Harry.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Harry swayed, Louis directed him onto the bed that he never bothered to make.  That was one thing he never understood.  It just seemed like extra work for nothing.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis followed him, leaning in for a long and slow kiss until Harry lowered himself down onto his back.  He hovered over him as his hand slid back down to wrap around him once again.  He gave it an experimental stroke and loved the way Harry moaned into his mouth.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another stroke and had to look down when he wasn’t quite sure what he felt against his finger.  He leaned closer and then stared as he saw three little metal rings in a row starting at the base of Harry’s cock.  They were small enough that he hadn’t seen them with the dim light and the position Harry had been in.  They were oddly aesthetically pleasing and he immediately liked the way Harry squirmed when he flipped the one closest to the base back and forth with his fingertip.  He had no desire to do that to himself, but he wasn’t turned off by seeing it on Harry.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do we have here?” Louis asked, experimentally tugging gently on one.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I let someone at the shop practice on me and then I liked them enough to keep them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did they hurt?” he asked as he had the urge to tug on them with his teeth.  He wouldn’t. Not yet.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like a bitch,” Harry nodded, “But it felt kinda good when they were sore, being reminded they were there.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis nodded and knew he’d be thinking about them for hours after this.  They were just another part of Harry that made his beauty seem unreal.  Apart from the few tattoos that Louis had, he was all natural and boring.  He hoped he didn’t bore Harry with his out of date style.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned forward to kiss Harry, the one thing he knew he was doing right.  It deepened when Harry took Louis’ hand, wrapping it around his cock again and then squeezing it there.  Harry guided them in a few strokes that made Louis feel powerful.  It was an interesting high to be in charge of a dick that wasn’t his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s free hand fished Louis out of his pants and started to lazily stroke in time with Louis’ exploring pace.  His hips remembered how good it felt to thrust into someone and started to meet his fist in little motions that made Harry moan.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Foreplay was different than it was with any woman Louis had been with and maybe that was because Louis felt clumsy and ignorant about what he was supposed to do.  But what they were doing felt so good and he could tell that Harry was just as wound up as he was.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry shifted around beneath him until Louis was kneeling between his thighs and Harry’s legs came up to wrap around his hips.  It made their dicks bump into each other which caused Louis to break their kiss and look down between their bodies.  They hadn’t turned any lights on, but the morning sunlight filtering through the sheer curtains gave him a good view of what they looked like together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the same feeling Louis kept having over and over.  It was exciting in such new ways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry pressed a bottle of lube into his hand from somewhere and Louis just stared at it for a long moment before looking up at him in question.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t…” Louis started to say and then stopped because he knew he was about to sound dumb.  He knew what it was for, he just wasn’t sure how to start or what exactly to do.  It wasn’t straightforward like it was with a woman or at least it felt that way when he hadn’t spent much time thinking about it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Looking up at him, Harry hooked his hands behind his knees and pulled them back towards his shoulders to fold himself in half.  Louis was impressed with his flexibility and with how comfortable he was with exposing himself to Louis so openly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moved forward to line himself up before he opened the little bottle.  Fingers touched his wrist and he paused to look up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fingers first,” Harry told him.  Right.  Louis hadn’t even thought of that.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moved a slick finger to his hole and did what seemed natural to do.  He pushed it in and watched as the whole thing disappeared into Harry’s body.  Glancing up to make sure he was doing it right, he pulled it out and then pushed back in.  He wondered what it felt like, but wasn’t ready to commit to trying it just yet.  He filed that away for later.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry touched his arm gently in the subtle way he used when he wanted Louis’ attention.  He looked up and he just felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>so much</span>
  </em>
  <span> seeing Harry laid out for him.  His hair fanned out over Louis’ pillow and there was so much want in his eyes.  He let his legs down to stretch them as he pulled Louis to him for a deep kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis used the moment to collect himself, to squash down any of the nerves he had about what they were doing.  When he sat back and steaded his dick at the base, he was ready for it.  He guided the head into place and held himself up with one hand as he leaned into it.  There were a few seconds where he didn’t think it would go in, that he was too big or it was too tight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked up to Harry for guidance just as Harry tilted his hips and he pressed in.  He inched in with slow and shallow motions until he was all the way in.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Looking down at Harry’s smooth and open face, it made Louis feel young again.  It made him feel like maybe they were just two college kids experimenting together.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it also made him wonder what Harry saw when he looked up at Louis.  What did he think when he saw his greying hair and the lines around his eyes that grew more pronounced every day?  Was it a constant reminder of Louis’ age to see the white that was coming in amongst the rest of his red tinted beard along his jaw?   Was it the dad type factor that Harry was into?  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis started a slow and experimental pace and he gripped the sheets by Harry’s head as he held himself back.  He still didn’t know if this would be the only time so he wanted to make sure he savored every minute of it.  As he moved, it appeared that Harry liked it slow.  He gasped and rolled his body up to meet his until they were moving in sync.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was new to feel Harry’s dick against his stomach as he moved, but he liked it.  He liked the way Harry got so wet that it transferred onto his skin where they rubbed together.  They kissed with lazy passion, breaking only when Louis had the urge to look down between their bodies.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From the outside looking in, they probably looked like a couple deeply in love, but really, Louis just wanted everything he could get in the short amount of time Harry was offering him.  Ten years had been longer than he realized now that he remembered what it felt like for someone to let him inside their body, what it felt like to have skin on skin.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He picked up the pace when Harry urged him to, panting against Harry’s cheek as he chased his orgasm.  He thought he remembered how to make it feel good for a woman, but he had no idea what to do for Harry.  Harry’s moans suggested that wasn’t an issue.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time Louis shuddered as he came, he was breathing heavily and his heart thudded in his chest.  It was the worst kind of reminder that he really needed to start running again or working out or something.  It was embarrassing to be huffing and puffing and sweating like he might be having a heart attack.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held himself up and pulled out, watching intently as Harry pulled himself off only moments later.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After collapsing onto his back beside Harry, he stared at the ceiling as he caught his breath.  His muscles burned and he knew he was going to be sore in the morning.  It would be the good satisfying ache that came with a good workout and Louis would welcome it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he looked over, it was to Harry’s peaceful sleeping face.  He wondered if he always fell asleep after a good orgasm.  Either way, it was nice to have someone share the big king sized bed with him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled the sheets over their bodies and stayed beside him until he started to get antsy.  He slipped out of bed, but not before taking a mental picture of Harry sweetly sleeping in his sheets.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Harry emerged after his nap, they went out their afternoon like any normal day save for the small grin that Harry shot him as they passed.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They worked together on their puzzle towards evening, and when the wine came out, they moved to the den where Harry ended up in Louis’ lap.  There weren’t any discussions, there weren’t any questions.  It just happened like it was something they always did.  Louis wasn’t about to complain when Harry’s lips were sweet and warm against his own and his weight across his thighs was grounding.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis didn’t hesitate when they ended up naked in his bed again, this time with Harry’s lips wrapped around his cock.  It was good for him to enjoy something that made everything that was weighing him down feel less heavy.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This time when Harry started to fall asleep, Louis just shifted up behind him and held his body close to his chest.  It took a long time to fall asleep, but when he did, it was the best sleep Louis could remember.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over the days that followed, Harry’s things slowly started migrating up to the master bedroom.  First it was one of Harry’s hoodies draped over a chair, then it was his hair ties on the bathroom sink.  They were the little reminders that Harry had been sharing his bed every night until finally Harry’s suitcase made its way up to rest on the floor in the corner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis caught himself smiling when he saw these traces slowly turn up.  It made him feel like he wasn’t alone even when Harry went off with his notebook or went for a ride on his bike.  They had created a little bubble for themselves and Louis wondered what would happen once they were allowed to interact with the world again.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the back of his mind, Louis knew that he was just a way for Harry to pass the time.  He knew at some point he needed to be prepared for the day when Harry had other options, when he could go out and live his life again.  That didn’t make Louis enjoy it any less.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He enjoyed waking up with Harry in his arms each morning.  He enjoyed their quiet mornings as Louis read the paper and Harry sipped at his coffee as he tried to wake himself up.  He enjoyed being in the kitchen side by side with Harry making sure he didn’t burn down the house.  He enjoyed putting together jigsaw puzzles and letting Harry choose things on tv that he would have never turned on himself.  He enjoyed when Harry crawled into his lap just to share slow kisses, enjoyed his mouth everywhere, really.  He enjoyed all of his time with Harry.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry made him see his life differently while also fitting into it seamlessly. It happened in the small things that he did.  In the way he prepared meals instead of just eating when he was hungry.  In the way he stayed in bed just a few minutes longer each morning.  In the way he brushed his teeth before breakfast instead of waiting until after.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was more conscious of what he was doing rather than just carrying on through a blur of mundane tasks that marked the passage of days.  He had a reason to care about what he was doing and how that fit around someone else living in his pocket.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was for all of these reasons that Louis stood in front of the mirror with his electric trimmer ready to clean up his beard that his thoughts moved south.  He stared at the trimmer for another moment before pulling the towel free from around his waist.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry had never said anything to Louis or even implied that he didn’t like it, but it had been weeks now and it was obvious that Harry kept up with his own area.  He sheared off a line to his dick and then had to follow through with the rest, admiring how he looked in the long mirror mounted to the back of the door.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Harry undressed him later that night, he smirked and Louis blushed.  It wasn’t something he could just joke away because it wasn’t something he normally did.  Harry knew that at some point today he had made the conscious decision to do it and the only obvious explanation was that he had done it for Harry.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sad.  I kind of liked it,” Harry smirked against his cheek as his hand smoothed down over the area.  “I liked feeling like I was with a porn star from the seventies.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis’ jaw dropped as he tried to hold back a laugh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not that old!” Louis playfully smacked Harry’s arm in mock offense.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said I liked it!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry grabbed Louis’ wrist and tried to hold it down from another smack.  He ended up on top of Louis on the bed, rubbing their cocks together as their playful spat turned into lazy kisses.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With the amount of lube they’d been going through, Louis made Harry be the one to buy it during their quick trips into town.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll never be able to look anyone in the eye again if I bought it!  They’d know exactly what I was up to!” Louis had argued.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about me??” Harry had protested.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I do it, they’ll think I’m fucking my twenty year old lodger.  They won’t think you’re fucking me if you buy it.  They’ll just think you’re filling your time in quarantine or something!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry had glared at him the whole time while they made their purchases and Louis had pretended like nothing was wrong.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis didn’t hear him complaining now when they had a fresh bottle for him to slick up Louis’ cock before he slowly sank down onto it.  Louis definitely wasn’t complaining either as this had quickly become his new favourite position.  Harry’s thighs were so toned and it seemed effortless for him to ride Louis without needing to pause for a break.  Louis also loved it since it gave him a view and access to Harry’s dick.  Playing with the little rings at the base of Harry’s dick fascinated him.  He loved the way they looked and he loved the way Harry reacted when he played with them, especially the one at the top.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The piercing was called a lorum, Harry had told him.  Louis didn’t know much about piercings though he did like hearing Harry talk about them.  They were his first and only piercings, information that had made Louis laugh.  Shoving a needle through his dick seemed a little extreme for his first experience.  Harry had also thought about having his nipples done, but hadn’t pulled the trigger yet since they could easily be seen through some clothing.  Louis thought they would be a fine addition.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For now, Louis was happy to play with the ones he already had.  Louis was happy to play with Harry’s dick in general.   He wasn’t sure if he would be attracted to other dicks or if it was just Harry’s, but he was definitely attracted to Harry’s.  He was so turned on just from watching it bob as Harry rode him.  Just like every part of Harry’s body, he could sit back and admire him for hours.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he’d also learned what Harry liked and touching him was so much better than just looking.  Harry got so wet when he was turned on and loved when Louis slid through and used it to tease the tip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though Harry sometimes went quiet and was hard to read, it was the opposite when they were in bed.  Louis never had to question whether he was enjoying something or not.  His actions or expressions told him exactly how he felt.  It made everything between them seem so easy.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was endearing to see how sleepy Harry grew after he’d come and Louis got used to spending some lazy hours after letting Harry snuggle up to him for a nap.  Sometimes he didn’t sleep and they just stayed together, sometimes sharing quiet conversations while Harry let Louis play with his loose, curly hair.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time the weather started to grow warmer, Louis knew their time would soon be up.  He only hoped that Harry would still come home to him when he was called back to work at the orchards. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It came much sooner than Louis expected when Harry sat down with him at the table while Louis peeled potatoes for dinner.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The orchard isn’t hiring back any temporary workers for the summer,” Harry broke the news with what Louis hoped was disappointment.  It made him hopeful that Harry didn’t want to burst their bubble either.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis set down the potato he was working on and wiped his hands off on the kitchen towel at his side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought that they’d need the help now that things are starting to open back up.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis had read in the paper that the wheels of life were slowly starting to turn again.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They won’t be opening to the public this year,” Harry shrugged.  There were times when Harry was soft spoken or just plain quiet, but this time he seemed anxious, nervous even.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to worry about paying back rent,” Louis assured him hoping that was what was bothering him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry just nodded, twisting one of the big rings he sometimes wore on his fingers.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They plan on lifting some travel bans in a few days,” Harry said and Louis’ heart fell.  So the time had come already.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You must be excited for that, then,” he forced the best smile he could muster.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry nodded again and then pushed back his chair and rose to his feet.  He grabbed his journal off the window sill by the door and slipped outside.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis deflated.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was hard to admit that he was in too deep.  Even with all the warnings he’d given himself and all the preparation he thought he’d had, none of it had stuck.  Just a few short months and already Harry had filled the holes in his life like he was meant to be a permanent part of it.  He would be mourning the loss for a long time and it was highly likely he might never be the same again.  How could he have experienced colour and then be forced to return to black and white?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Already he knew that Harry would be his last lodger.  He couldn’t invite another into his home for the season and have them constantly remind him of what Harry had been.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He peeled the rest of the potatoes in a trance and then abandoned them since he’d lost the motivation to cook.  There would be enough leftovers to warm up for supper anyway.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The air was heavy between them though it didn’t affect much but their conversations.  They’d never been all that chatty anyway, only speaking about things that truly mattered.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis nearly cried that night when they made love, hiding the emotion against Harry’s neck.  It wasn’t Harry’s fault that he’d fallen for him or accidentally made things something that they were not.  Maybe if they had met in another time and place, if fate had aligned their journeys.  Maybe one day when Harry was asked about the pandemic he would look back at their time together and recall it as the great love affair that Louis felt it to be.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis had lived through tragedy before and resigned himself to live out the rest of his days as he had before Harry came along.  It would take time, but surely he could do it again.  At least this time their relationship had been theirs.  He wouldn’t have to worry about the pity in everyone’s eyes or the constant check ins that tested his patience and irritation. It was all his own fault, really.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis was still naked on the bed when Harry emerged from the shower with his hair wrapped up in a towel piled on top of his head.  He was slow in his steps as he moved about the room and Louis just watched to commit to memory how he looked in just his little black boxer briefs.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He folded a hoodie and set it on the corner of the bed before he took one of his shirts off the hook behind the door and did the same.  It made Louis’ heart feel heavy to realize what he was doing.  Piece by piece, he was collecting the parts of himself that had made their way in with Louis’. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The suitcase on the floor that had been left mostly empty was now slowly being filled up again.  Louis had the childish urge to turn and dump the contents onto the floor in an attempt to delay the inevitable, but he knew it wouldn’t do much but ruin what time they had left together.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought I’d look into a ticket home tomorrow,” Harry said before shaking out his wet hair so it hid his face.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or you could not,” Louis mumbled to himself with a small huff.  He was trying his best to keep from moping around, but it was getting more difficult to bite his tongue.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis snapped his eyes over to where Harry had flipped his hair back, not having intended for him to hear.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Louis shook his head and waved it off.  He pulled the covers up over his waist so he didn’t feel so vulnerable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, what did you say.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis cleared his throat and debated whether to admit that he was just being a bit stroppy.  He was a grown man.  Throwing tantrums was supposed to be below him and yet he couldn’t help it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said, or you could not,” Louis admitted and averted his eyes.  They’d never talked about the future, never even really discussed what it was they were doing.  Their whole relationship was just something they did, something that happened that they never stopped.  He didn’t want to taint that experience for Harry by admitting his feelings or attach strings that hadn’t been there for Harry to sever in the first place.  He didn’t want to make it more complicated.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have money for rent if I don’t have a job.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t need you here for the rent, Harry,” Louis said with a sigh.  He felt resigned as it was made clear what Harry thought of their arrangement.  He was still just Louis’ lodger in his mind.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It wouldn’t be right for me to stay on as a freeloader.  I hardly have enough in my account to buy a ticket home let alone food and everything for however long---” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not freeloading if I’m asking you to be with me!” Louis’ frustration got the best of him as he blurted it out.  It startled them both since Louis rarely raised his voice and they stared at each other in shock.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s voice was uncharacteristically high when he opened his mouth and Louis would have laughed under different circumstances.  “You want to be with me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Louis sighed as he rubbed his eyes in frustration, “I know I shouldn’t put that on you like that.  I just really enjoy having you around, and not just for the sex.  But I know you have a life to get back to.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared up at the ceiling and wondered how Harry could make him feel so young and emotional over and over again.  The heavy sadness looming above him made him feel like he wasn’t in control, made him feel like he wanted to lash out since he didn’t know how to handle it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you mean that?” Harry asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and turned towards him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course I mean that.  I never went looking for anyone because it didn’t seem worth it, but it’s been easy with you.  You just fit and I haven’t had to worry about impressing you or doing the wrong thing and it’s been really nice.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even though you’re not gay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis breathed out a little laugh but Harry’s tone was serious.  They’d never talked about it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think that really matters--” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It does matter.  It matters if you’ll only want me around until you’re tired of it.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Harry, I think it’s been very obvious that I’m attracted to you, but I’d still ask you to stay even if we never have sex again.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really want me to stay?” Harry sounded small like he was expecting Louis to take it back.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want you to stay as long as you’d like.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was too early.  Louis knew it was too early if he was being woken up before his internal clock forced his eyes open.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s too early,” Louis whined as the body in his arms shifted to turn off the blaring alarm coming from his phone.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to get up,” Harry snorted, but his voice sounded tired and Louis was sure Harry wanted to hit snooze a few times as well.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t be able to go back to sleep, though,” he continued to whine and tickled Harry’s neck with his beard as he snuggled closer.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh poor baby,” Harry mocked as he tried to get up.  Louis tightened his arms around his middle so he couldn’t get away.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll blow you if you stay in bed,” Louis mumbled and started to press long teasing kisses up his neck.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Louissss,” Harry whined, “As appealing as that sounds, I have a bus tour of senior citizens AND a wedding today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Think about how relaxed you’ll be the rest of the day if you let me get you off right now,” Louis tried to persuade him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry laughed and tried to flail his arms to get out of Louis’ grip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Think of how much </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> stressed I’ll be if I’m late because I let you get me off right now.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had been a year since Harry had started working with event planning at the orchard and Louis still missed all their lazy mornings staying in bed.  In truth, Louis was still spoiled in the off season when Harry had little to do or did most of his bookings from home.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now it was May and it felt like Harry away from home more often than not.  Louis would never really complain, though.  Harry loved his job and he lit up every time he talked about all of the new events he had coming up.  It got Louis out of the house more as well since Harry recruited him to help with all sorts of odd jobs that came up.  Sometimes Louis was there just because Harry wanted him to be.  He couldn’t say that he minded.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or we could get </span>
  <em>
    <span>each other</span>
  </em>
  <span> off and then I could come in and help you get everything done twice as fast.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Lou,” Harry said seriously, “It’s a bus load of seniors and I wouldn’t want you to get mistaken as part of the group.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took Louis a moment before he smacked Harry’s arm, pushing him away with a noise of mock offense as Harry dissolved into giggles.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I take it back.  No orgasm for you,” Louis muttered as he pouted with his arms across his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aww, come on, I was just joking.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry rolled over and started to press kisses over his cheek. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, now you want it,” Louis tried to stay serious but laughed as he rolled his eyes.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s lips moved to his mouth and then playful turned into the long, lazy kisses that usually started their mornings.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re lucky I love you,” Louis muttered against his mouth and smirked when Harry pulled back to look at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, you’re lucky </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> love </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Harry retorted with a kiss to the tip of his nose.  And Louis couldn’t even argue with that because he knew he was.  He was very lucky.  They both were.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://jaerie.tumblr.com/post/618196705670807552/at-age-40-there-isnt-much-excitement-in-widower">reblog me on tumblr!</a>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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